Blame
by NikkiFredd
Summary: My thoughts on Ali's last few weeks, Emily/Alison pairing, Ali-centric. Rated T for language. One shot, Might become a two shot.
1. Alison

**A/N I just got this idea, and just went with it, so it might suck, but hey. At least I tried.**

All good things must come to an end, especially when you're being stalked by a psychopathic letter. But mostly, it was probably karma, all of the wrongs I have done delivered back to me in one package of heartbreak and pain.

Emily was one of the nicest people in the world, unparalleled by anyone in Rosewood. She would help people she didn't even know that well, always be there for her friends, was never mean. Okay so she never stood up to me, but no one ever did. And I had taken advantage of all of this, but mostly, of Emily's feelings for me. She had never been subtle about them, but of course, I was the only one who ever noticed, because honestly, who would guess?

No one but me and the walls. Oh, and A of course, but A knew everything, so this wasn't really surprising. I was beginning to wonder if A had superpowers, or was more than one person. The second option was more likely, because if you sent a text to the entire school (Bar me and the girls) asking for recruits to torture me, people would be queuing around the block.

What I knew, A knew. All of my secrets, all of the girls; Hanna's drastic measures to stay thin (Maybe my fault. Apparently I went about making her happier in her own skin too far), Spencer and all of her sisters fiancé's, Aria's dad being a man-slag, and of course, Emilys crush on me. And my crush on Emily. A's favourite toy to play with. So, everyday, I would get a text, something with either insinuations or accusations, and a bribe to keep quiet. Not money, A appeared to have all the money they needed. Oh no, making me look like a monster was much better than any sum of money.

So came Hefty Hanna, teasing Aria about her parents relationships, all of Spencers ones, as none of them were ever appropriate, and toying with Emily's feelings. The worst of all, because it was the only thing that could possibly hurt her, her only secret, and I exploited it, putting my secrets above her feelings. The first text was the worst I sort of got used to it after that, and it broke my heart that Emily did too.

**It appears you have Emilys heart in your hands. Shame your going to have to break it, or perhaps I should send the cops the pictures of The Jenna Thing xoxo -A**

The first thing that went through my head was 'that bastard', just because they didn't like me messing with their minions. Shame I didn't blind Toby, cant be a stalker with no eyesight. Next I went about teasing Emily every chance I got. And then she kissed me in the library, all I could think was 'shit, A's gonna love this'. I just sat there, thinking of several ways to be a complete bitch to her, but the word caught in my mouth when I saw her blinding smile, and I used all my energy trying to form a coherent sentence.

Emily went off to swim practice, and I didn't even have to look at my phone to know A had sent me something snaky.  
Shit.

Well, I suppose there was only one way to find out what was being held over me this time.

**I stand corrected. ****_Now_**** you have her heart. I think your smart enough to see where this is going. I think the school would love to know that you and Em are dating, wouldn't they? -A**

Well, that wasn't so bad. But of course, there was a boatload of stuff A could decide to torture me with next, and I really don't want to be the reason Em is outed. The longer Emily thought I liked her, the worse it would be on her. And I couldn't make this any worse. I swear to God if I ever found out who A was, I was going to rip them to shreds.

A few days later, the perfect opportunity arose in the locker room after Gym. Of course, I teased her mercilessly, like usual, but I was nonetheless shocked when I felt her lips on my neck. I will admit to jus enjoying it for a few seconds before I remembered the repercussions of this. So, I turned around and tore into her. Told her that I didn't like her like that, she was just practice, the entire time wishing I could just kiss and hug her, tell her everything was going to be alright. But I couldn't make empty promises and I couldn't put her under A's wrath. So I just berated her in my bitchiest tone I could muster without faltering.

I could tell how much I was hurting her, but I couldn't give A any reason to reveal any of my secrets.

So, for the next few days, I didn't even need A to remind me to be a bitch to the girls about their respective secrets. I was tired of A's threats and I wanted to do something of my own accord, even if it was something everyone would resent me for.

And then I got her letter.

Every word was filled with hurt and I almost let out a sob reading how much I broke her. Almost. I'm Alison DiLaurentis, I don't cry. I felt like someone was stabbing me in the chest. I had gone too far.  
I could blame A all I wanted, it wouldn't make any difference. It was all my fault. I had put my secrets above Em, and now she was in pain and she hated me.

And do you know what?

I deserve it.


	2. Emily

**A/N 2****nd**** Part of this 2-shot. Which was meant to be a one-shot. But hey, I'm bored. And, ill admit, venting a little.**

I couldn't understand how a person could be so cold. Teasing was one thing, but torturing someone with the things they hated most about themselves was something completely more vindictive and twisted.

I didn't know what was happening anymore. Ali would say something that everyone would be confused about but one, who would get mad over seemingly nothing. We all knew we all had secrets we had shared with Ali. Big mistake. At first she was nice, sympathetic, but then it was like she woke up one morning and got bored of being nice, being sadistic was much better.

I had given up trying to find out what was going on with the other girls for two reasons. One, Ali was always cryptic enough to not give anything away, and two, if anyone found out about mine, I would die, so I wasn't prying into theirs. I did still wonder though…

I wish I could hate her. I wish I could look her in the eyes and laugh at her subtle digs at my sexuality. Tell her she meant nothing to me. But, of course, I couldn't, I was far too in love with her to do that. And the worst part? There was still a little part of me telling me I don't want to be over Ali. Ali liked me back and was just scared. A delusional but persuasive part of me.

I honestly killed me. It was like running strapped to a bunjee cord, getting nowhere fast enough. And I didn't want to. I haven't seen her for a week now and it hurt, more than it should. I want to see her so badly, just for a minute, but I'm desperately avoiding her at the same time. I used to figure out what class she was in a 'conveniently' be in the vicinity. Now I'm avoiding her like the plague. I would stare at her like a stalker in the classes we share, because just her face was captivating to me. When she laughed I just started grinning like an idiot. She had a beautiful laugh. Not fun to explain when she's talking to someone else and you just start grinning for no reason.

So when she kissed me back in the library, I didn't question it. I know, I should have done, why would she like me? I didn't want to think she was playing me, she wasn't always this awful to me and she didn't tease me after. For the first time in ages, I had hope.

So the locker room seemed like the perfect opportunity to, well I'm not sure what, but you get the idea. I wont even pretend I was shocked when she ripped into me for it. It hurt like hell none the less. I imagine this is what the hero in a superhero movie feels like when the super strong villain pushes him into a wall via his chest. But a million times worse.

The letter wasn't one of my best ideas, but I had to tell her everything. I just couldn't keep everything inside any more, I was going to explode. I admit, I was probably harsher than I should have been, but she deserved it. I wanted her to feel the pain I was going through, if only a fraction of it.  
Ali never mentioned the letter. I'm not sure how I feel about that. Relieved, because I don't want Ali to hate me and tell me to leave her alone, anxious, because she could bring it up at any moment and, if I'm being honest, a little disappointed. A little part of me had hoped for a heartfelt apology, or a declaration of love, or for Ali to at least acknowledge it. But no, she was left guessing at Alis thoughts on it, and she would be for the rest of her life.

**A/N If someone wants me to write a story, just pm me a promt and ill try to write it for you. Hope you liked my little 1shot turned 2shot.**


End file.
